Often, I hear women talk about their marriages becoming boring, and how they are starting to “fall out of love” with their husbands. It always breaks my heart to hear those words.
There is simply no template for a successful marriage because marriage is a journey. Just like every other journey, you need to keep fueling the car to keep it going.
While on the marriage journey, a husband and his wife are expected to keep working to make sure that everything is in order.
No matter how head over heels two people in a marriage are with each other, someone is going to get bored at some point. When that happens, then you know it is time to spice things up and keep the train moving.
Below are simple ways to do that.
Prioritize Each Other
In every marriage, there is always going to be a point where one person loses focus or gets too comfortable and stops prioritizing the other person and his/her needs. As a wife, you will have kids and extended family members fighting for your attention. There will be lots of distractions too.
What most people don’t realize is that it’s very difficult to give everyone equal attention. But as a wife, you just have to work towards creating a balance.
When as a wife you start paying more attention to the kids, and neglect your husband, he is going to feel abandoned no matter how old he is or how long you’ve been together.
I know a couple of women who felt like once the kids came around, their whole time should be dedicated to taking care of them. I was one of them. I almost lost my marriage to the mentality I had; that I showered my husband with more than enough love to last him a lifetime before the kids’ arrival. The reality is the truth remains; a husband will always crave your attention.
Once you notice that your marriage is losing its spark, then it is time to get your husband back to his priority status. Ask him what he wants for dinner; don’t just assume you already know it all. When he gets home from work, make time to sit with him and talk about his day. If you do this, you will also notice that he will genuinely become interested in knowing those tiny details about you again. Before you know it, the prioritization becomes mutual, and the fire would be rekindled.
After some years of marriage, people get used to being around each other, and they forget the importance of gratitude and how much influence it has on someone’s attitude towards you. When you show gratitude, a person is always motivated to do more. Even when someone buys something that you can afford for yourself, it is necessary to still show appreciation, as humans.
In your home, when your husband does the chores, takes the kids to school or bring you breakfast in bed, and you say some nice words about how grateful you are, it’s going to inspire him to keep doing them. And even do more.
The importance of gratitude can never be overemphasized in any relationship, including marriage. It goes a long way in keeping the fire burning.
Maintain Intimacy and Passion
How do you get your husband back to this place of intimacy you shared so long ago? This is a really hard thing to do when you have kids, a job or a business to run, but it’s not impossible. Making your marriage fun or bringing back the fun extends to the bedroom.
Nobody gets too old or tired of intimacy, especially men. They have always and will always want it. It is how their body and hormones work.
So, it is not surprising to know that when it comes to marriage, intimacy is among the topmost important ingredients you need to make it successful.
Never underestimate the power of intimacy and passion in making your marriage more exciting.
Try New Things Together
What better way to keep the fire burning than to try new things with your husband? There is a level of fun that everybody derives from trying out new things. The feeling is indescribable. It is simply out of this world.
Couples who engage in activities together, tend to have a better and more exciting relationship with each other.
Why? Well, while they are doing things together, they talk, laugh, and discover new things about each other.
Trying new things together could happen in two ways—just the two of you, or with a group of people, friends, or families.
The former is more intimate than the latter, but both go a long way in bringing excitement into your marriage.
Will there ever be a time when love letters with those sweet inscriptions will not make the butterflies in our bellies dance joyfully? I don’t think so.
Love letters are unique, and they speak volume because the people who write them do that to genuinely express how they feel.
Writing love letters can come in handy when you feel like the excitement in your marriage is beginning to die down and you want to get your husband back to feeling those butterflies all over again.
A little write up like, “My love, remember the first day we met? That was the day I vowed to love you, be with you through thick and thin, and spend the rest of my life with you. Even now, nothing about that decision has changed.” will go a long way in spicing things up.
You can slip the note into your man’s pocket, under his pillow, or even under his teacup. The location depends on what time of the day you’re doing it. Before he goes to work, or when he gets back. You can do this on weekends too.
The time of the day you give him the note does not change the effect it is going to have on him when he reads it.
Always make sure the note is kept in a place where he would easily find it.
Conclusion: Despite the saying that no marriage is perfect, I can guarantee you that the tips above will make your marriage enviable. These tips will not only bring back those initial sparks you felt in the early days of your relationship, but it will also make you realize that there are so many things to discover, explore and enjoy daily in your marriage. Marriage is meant to be a happy journey, no matter how long you both have been together.